dear gretchen

you used to be funny.

when you make fun of people, telling them how inadequate they are or how ugly they are, you made me laugh because you ultimately pointed the finger at yourself.  you humor was self-deprecating.  you were just so good at it and that was one of the many things we loved about you. your arrogance did not really hurt anyone.

but now you are just seriously stuck up. wow. you want people to delete you from their friends list because they are poor and you don't want to listen to them whine. alright. it could be a little too tiring sometimes. that is one thing. but to tell them to kill themselves is utterly wrong. it's inhuman.

you may never have experienced having been really hard up your entire life. because if you did, you wouldn't be such an asshole about it. you have your mom to thank for it.

yeah, right now you are privileged. you are. good for you. but remember, everything you love and value can be taken away from you in a blink of an eye.

now, if you really don't want to see your friends' frustrations and complaints, why don't you just delete them from your list and save yourself the agony?  i would. just like how i deleted you from mine.

awesome lyrics. amazing song.

Chilling.

sabi ko lang sa nanay ko "ang sarap ng tulog mo, ha."

bigla ba namang nagalit. masama ba matulog at kung napuna na natutulog sya eh kailangan nyang depensahan ang sarili niya at magtatas na sya ng boses? ang weird.

i just...

... scratched my butt.  it was uncontrollably itchy. the fabric of my underwear makes the skin on my butt really itchy when i am sitting. i think i'm going to have to throw this away.

seriously:

... made a down payment on something. this major purchase is making me extremely nervous.  this will take a big chunk out of my paycheck every month. but this has been a dream of mine for the longest time.

and i am determined to see it through, shakes and all.

sooner than later

chocolat's death by tablea, jollibee spaghetti and chicken joy, mrt rides while listening to music on my mp3 player, cheap dvds, cheap movie tickets, facial, foot spa, whole body massage, the good burger, buko juice, goldilocks fresh lumpia and barbecue, bench red cologne, ayala museum, ice scramble, sisig hooray, cynthia alexander, filipino movies, cubao x, pichi pichi, the sidewalk barbecue stall beside sm supermarket in proj.4, dannylicious, san miguel beer, decent haircut, unlimited digital downloads, razon's halo-halo, ebe dancel, gatsby oil control film and hair wax, lala fish crackers, staying up late, karaoke, my beloved friends.

what lovely song lyrics

What a way to wake up
 Just to find you there and Touch you in the morning
 You turn your head and look up
 There's no need to catch me
 Baby, I'm not falling
 Could have guessed after all that Id be standing tall
 You make me feel Free
 When you're near me
 Yeah I'm free
 All the time
 I just need you to hear me
 It's only you that makes me free
 I'm not used to being loved, not me

 Open up the window
 Just as the sun comes over the horizon
 What a perfect moment
 Trying to catch my breath
 I find it so surprising
 Who'd have guessed after all that
 I'd be standing tall


 from 'free' by simon webbe

Pinas bound in a couple of weeks

Amd will be paying for excess baggage due to these darn candies. Lol.

the custodian

for some, the money they have spent on you is indeed the string that binds you to a debt of gratitude that comes with a mouth eager to shoot the sharpest knives until you are able to pay every cent you owe them. so until your wallet is fat enough, you have no right to open your pipes and reason out. you are a kid. yes you are in your thirties, but you are a kid. so shut the fuck up.

dumaan ako (seeing my facebook homepage)

i see a few of them in love and are showing it through quotes. just a few spaces down i see someone who had his heart broken.

someone's laughing for no apparent reason (he claims he's just happy). for all i know he might be on drugs. haha!

a sweet friend has posted pictures of herself and her friends (yet again). she still looks very pretty, though.

one talks about his love for his family -- especially when they are asleep and are not able to express how much they really hate his guts (kidding). that made me realize that i also love my family when their mouths are shut. he has such a flair for drama you can see it in his words. i miss talking to him.

then there's someone who has been whining 'til kingdom come. it's sad that he is being mad at the world. the jessicas and alanises have all grown up. angst is passe. and so is egocentrism.

then there's a very dear friend who took a picture of his shoe. yeah. shoe.

and then enter the four crushes. if you only knew how you make me giddy (lol i can't even imagine myself being giddy -- i just like the word). actually, i don't talk to them a whole lot (even here in facebook) or we've lost touch for a long time and just connected recently. i bet that right now somebody's thinking that he fits the bill. hehe.

oh, and i hope a super friend of mine enjoys his first out of the country vacation. enjoy the freshest spring rolls! 

repost: maningning's berso #2

she could still be writing excellent poetry if she didn't end her life. she was so young. nakakapanghinayang talaga.

Berso #2
ni Maningning Miclat

Dumaan ako sa tahimik na ilog,
Ang buong mundo ay parang natutulog
Kung may bunga mang sa tubig ay mahulog
Parang ang puso ko itong nadudurog. Kung mag-isa ako huwag nang isipin
Sa dilim ay dapat pa akong hanapin
Habang may luha ay huwag pang ibigin
Sa pangarap ko ay huwag nang gisingin. Kaya kong maghintay sa mga tula mo
Marinig sa ]awit ng kabilang dako
At tuklasin sa paglalakad na ito
Hamog at luha ng bulaklak at damo. Mapapanood ang sayaw ng tutubi
Mapapakinggan ang ibong humuhuni
Hihinahon ang pusong di mapakali
At hihimlay na sa mapayapang gabi.

Dumaan ako sa tahimik na ilog,
Ang buong mundo ay parang natutulog
Kung may bunga mang sa tubig ay nahulog
Parang ang puso ko nga itong nadudurog.

New York Journal: Day Three

it's past 11 in the evening here in new york city. it is still bright and alive.  back home, no one would be caught dead walking the streets at this time.  it's not that it is scary in houston.  it's just that everything is closed at 11 pm on a sunday night. but here in the city that never sleeps, you wouldn't notice that it's already close to midnight if you didn't take a look at your wristwatch.

i just came back to the hotel from a sumptuous dinner at a thai place called 'room service.'  the food was awesome.  i would rave more about the menu if the person who waited on us wasn't extremely hot making us almost forget about our food.  how could a man concentrate on his chicken pineapple fried rice when the wait staff stealthily walks directly at your table, looks at you straight in the eye and asks, "would you want something to drink?" i answered, "uh, can i just have you in a glass?" actually, it was my friend who replied.  he said, "two thai iced teas, please,'  in the kindest, gentlest way imaginable to man.  eh sya naman talaga may kras dun eh.

and oh, should i also mention that we ate like pigs?

after we were done with the food, my friend and i lingered for a few minutes more for sightseeing purposes.  it was nearing closing time and hot wait staff decided not to come out of the kitchen anymore.  so we decided to stand up, with me feeling the corns on my feet from trekking miles a day --- and walked slowly back to the hotel.

earlier today, i was alone wandering the streets of the city.  my friend had a modelling stint in new jersey and he would not be back until 9. it's a different experience when you are all by yourself in an unfamiliar place ---scary but kind of liberating.  it was good that the streets are named easily.  43rd street is obviously next to 42.  i knew if i always took notice of the street signs, i will never get lost. so i walked block upon block of gigantic concrete structures not knowing where it would lead me.  i wanted to see the new spiderman musical but the cheapest ticket costs $67. i walked some more and saw 'dean & deluca' -- the stage where felicity and ben's television love story blossomed.  a few feet away was 'muji,'  that japanese store that surprisingly had overpriced merchandise. if i did not grow up in the philippines then i wouldn't know that those plastic containers cost 90 percent cheaper than the ones in that shop.  i was out the door in five minutes.

farther off i saw 'h&m.'  now, that's the kind of shop that people like me like. if you ask me, style and quality-wise, h&m stands in the middle of zara and forever 21. good quality plain shirts, a staple in my wardrobe, cost around $5.95. i bought a nice-looking dog tag for my brother at $7.95.  and when i was about to exit the door, the latino cashier hurriedly caught up with me and gave me a 5 dollar gift card.  ang bait naman ni pogi. haha!

                                                     alone in central park

i then proceeded back to the hotel.  the long walk was with stops for some cigarettes and bottles of water and diet soda. i knew that if i just looked ahead and saw the myriad of lights from afar, i was on target. i got my camera and took some more photos.  there were musicians in the sidewalk playing very good music while selling their cds.  saan ka naman nakakita na kumakanta lang sa sidewalk na may cd? sosyal. on the other side of the road were six shirtless abs selling their sexy calendar. or were they men with abs?  they looked like walking abs, though, since you will not look at their faces and just zoom in on their midsection. a lady in her sixties walked up to take a picture with these men.  everybody who saw were laughing.  inang, hanggang ngayon ba naman tinatablan ka pa ng L?


i found my friend already in the room when i got back -- and that brings us back to 'room service' and the slow walk back to our hotel room after dinner. while walking, we saw that the jackpot to the new york lottery has ballooned to $220 million. i told my friend that the winner of one of the biggest lotto jackpots in philippine history is a filipino ofw based in new york.  we went to one of them small grocery stores (which look exactly like the ones you see in movies set in this city) to buy tickets.  and just like that filipino lady who is now a few hundred million pesos richer, i too chose the quick pick option.

sana lang manalo.