repost: maningning's berso #2

she could still be writing excellent poetry if she didn't end her life. she was so young. nakakapanghinayang talaga.

Berso #2
ni Maningning Miclat

Dumaan ako sa tahimik na ilog,
Ang buong mundo ay parang natutulog
Kung may bunga mang sa tubig ay mahulog
Parang ang puso ko itong nadudurog. Kung mag-isa ako huwag nang isipin
Sa dilim ay dapat pa akong hanapin
Habang may luha ay huwag pang ibigin
Sa pangarap ko ay huwag nang gisingin. Kaya kong maghintay sa mga tula mo
Marinig sa ]awit ng kabilang dako
At tuklasin sa paglalakad na ito
Hamog at luha ng bulaklak at damo. Mapapanood ang sayaw ng tutubi
Mapapakinggan ang ibong humuhuni
Hihinahon ang pusong di mapakali
At hihimlay na sa mapayapang gabi.

Dumaan ako sa tahimik na ilog,
Ang buong mundo ay parang natutulog
Kung may bunga mang sa tubig ay nahulog
Parang ang puso ko nga itong nadudurog.

New York Journal: Day Three

it's past 11 in the evening here in new york city. it is still bright and alive.  back home, no one would be caught dead walking the streets at this time.  it's not that it is scary in houston.  it's just that everything is closed at 11 pm on a sunday night. but here in the city that never sleeps, you wouldn't notice that it's already close to midnight if you didn't take a look at your wristwatch.

i just came back to the hotel from a sumptuous dinner at a thai place called 'room service.'  the food was awesome.  i would rave more about the menu if the person who waited on us wasn't extremely hot making us almost forget about our food.  how could a man concentrate on his chicken pineapple fried rice when the wait staff stealthily walks directly at your table, looks at you straight in the eye and asks, "would you want something to drink?" i answered, "uh, can i just have you in a glass?" actually, it was my friend who replied.  he said, "two thai iced teas, please,'  in the kindest, gentlest way imaginable to man.  eh sya naman talaga may kras dun eh.

and oh, should i also mention that we ate like pigs?

after we were done with the food, my friend and i lingered for a few minutes more for sightseeing purposes.  it was nearing closing time and hot wait staff decided not to come out of the kitchen anymore.  so we decided to stand up, with me feeling the corns on my feet from trekking miles a day --- and walked slowly back to the hotel.

earlier today, i was alone wandering the streets of the city.  my friend had a modelling stint in new jersey and he would not be back until 9. it's a different experience when you are all by yourself in an unfamiliar place ---scary but kind of liberating.  it was good that the streets are named easily.  43rd street is obviously next to 42.  i knew if i always took notice of the street signs, i will never get lost. so i walked block upon block of gigantic concrete structures not knowing where it would lead me.  i wanted to see the new spiderman musical but the cheapest ticket costs $67. i walked some more and saw 'dean & deluca' -- the stage where felicity and ben's television love story blossomed.  a few feet away was 'muji,'  that japanese store that surprisingly had overpriced merchandise. if i did not grow up in the philippines then i wouldn't know that those plastic containers cost 90 percent cheaper than the ones in that shop.  i was out the door in five minutes.

farther off i saw 'h&m.'  now, that's the kind of shop that people like me like. if you ask me, style and quality-wise, h&m stands in the middle of zara and forever 21. good quality plain shirts, a staple in my wardrobe, cost around $5.95. i bought a nice-looking dog tag for my brother at $7.95.  and when i was about to exit the door, the latino cashier hurriedly caught up with me and gave me a 5 dollar gift card.  ang bait naman ni pogi. haha!

                                                     alone in central park

i then proceeded back to the hotel.  the long walk was with stops for some cigarettes and bottles of water and diet soda. i knew that if i just looked ahead and saw the myriad of lights from afar, i was on target. i got my camera and took some more photos.  there were musicians in the sidewalk playing very good music while selling their cds.  saan ka naman nakakita na kumakanta lang sa sidewalk na may cd? sosyal. on the other side of the road were six shirtless abs selling their sexy calendar. or were they men with abs?  they looked like walking abs, though, since you will not look at their faces and just zoom in on their midsection. a lady in her sixties walked up to take a picture with these men.  everybody who saw were laughing.  inang, hanggang ngayon ba naman tinatablan ka pa ng L?


i found my friend already in the room when i got back -- and that brings us back to 'room service' and the slow walk back to our hotel room after dinner. while walking, we saw that the jackpot to the new york lottery has ballooned to $220 million. i told my friend that the winner of one of the biggest lotto jackpots in philippine history is a filipino ofw based in new york.  we went to one of them small grocery stores (which look exactly like the ones you see in movies set in this city) to buy tickets.  and just like that filipino lady who is now a few hundred million pesos richer, i too chose the quick pick option.

sana lang manalo.

tondo-er in new york.

2 days in new york.  3 more days to go.

in the concrete jungle where dreams are made of

                                                                                                                                                                   

yes, aunt may.

i'm in new york city right now.

i'm in a hotel on 43rd street.  a few steps down the road and i will be in the middle of times square where all the action is.

new york is like makati multiplied by 100.  they said it right that this city is the melting pot of the earth's cultures. thousands walk along the busy streets every minute of the day - and i mean every minute.  you can go out at 3:45 in the morning and it's like a party.  the shops fight for your attention with colorful graphics that they have outside. for instance, at the forever 21 shop along times square there's a huge screen where you can look at your own reflection a couple of hundred feet away from you.  tourists scream when they see themselves in that giant electronic billboard.  really, they do.  imagine yourself being in the biggest roller coaster ever made and you are about to take the first big drop.  that's how they scream when they see themselves in there. they scream like there's no tomorrow.

i wonder why they do that.

tourists. you can identify them with the look of wonder in their faces. one way you can differentiate new yorkers from tourists is that new yorkers ignore stop signs and cross the streets where there are no pedestrian lanes. they never look at anything - or anyone. tourists, on the other hand, are scared to break the rules.  of course, they also have cameras in their hands. i ask myself if i look like these people.  my friend who invited me over keeps asking me if i am having fun. don't i have that excited look? what he sees is the face of a guy having the time of his life. i am having fun. honest.

then there are people in super hero costumes waiting for anybody to take a photo beside them for some change. michael jackson is alive and kicking in here.  see him dancing the moonwalk and take a picture beside him if you have a few extra dollars in your pocket.

vendors scatter the sidewalks selling replica hand bags, screenplays and paintings.  if you want to see how new york looks like from the top, then be ready to shell out 25 bucks from any of the city's famous skyscrapers. a lot of people here make good money from visitors. if a street seller can get a dollar from each one of them tourists, he'd be a few hundred thousand dollars richer before the day is over.

as for this tourist, the little extra money that i have will have to go to the amazing musicians in the subway.  'amazing' is an understatement, actually. these artists hoping for some loose change are extremely talented, reality show contestants should hide their heads in shame.

it's noisy in here too.  if you are uncomfortable with silence, this is the place for you. when i see movies set in this city, i always thought that most of the noise should come from cars with drivers that are ready to hit their horns when they get upset about anything. but it's actually the humans who make the most noise.  i've never heard so many people speak in different languages in a single place at the same time. as for me, as much as i am at home with loud sounds, i like a little quiet time once in a while.  st. patrick's cathedral gave that to me.

new yorkers.  my friend said they can be rude. they never apologize for anything.  i was crossing a busy street one time and an old lady just shook uncontrollably and fell on the floor.  she might have been suffering from a stroke.  the people were there ready to help.  new yorkers are capable of compassion, after all.

more later, fellas.

from my facebook's 'notes'

unfinished. unedited.


i was rereading an old book when i saw a sheet of paper between the pages - a short story that i was trying to write just after the 9/11 attacks. it is unfinished and unedited.



**********


i was talking to my wife when it hit us.

if i remember it correctly, she was talking about alimony and how much money she wanted to support our two kids --- things that i thought were totally improper being discussed over the phone. besides, we have lawyers who are more than capable handling such matters. i imagined her in her upscale office, looking at her planner and holding her black parker looking at her bullet points while she was talking to me. she had everything on paper. The woman hates it when she does things unplanned. she was anal retentive. i seriously wished her dead.

i was in the process of calling her a ranting bitch when the line went dead. 

i heard a loud crashing sound. then i heard an explosion. but for someone who has lived in Manhattan for a very long time, noises like those are as natural as organic tomato. i didn't mind what i heard. i was angry at my wife. i looked out my bedroom window in frustration hoping to find something nice to see when i saw a burning chunk of metal fall from one of the famous office buildings. i looked closely and wondered if what i was seeing was the tail end of a plane sticking out of the tower. 

and then came the screaming. painful and fearful screams. i looked down from my apartment window and i saw all the people with their mouths open. they were in shock.

i looked back at where they were were looking and it finally sank in. and just like the rest of the people below me, i froze.







*****