last week after seeing moments op lab with my bestfriend( i'm never gonna watch a movie in sm north again...ang mga damuhong lamok bit us endlessly) , we went to starbucks and talked about relationships. she's now married and has a daughter with the brother of my ex (i introduced them to each other) and i see that she's really happy. before she met her new beau she was in a devastating relationship that lasted for five years. so while having my raspberry frap i told her that i'm intensely attracted to a person whom i've been talking a lot to thru messenger.
me: but when the talk goes to what he feels for me and how we should take the relationship to the next level, i push him away.
her: why?
me: i'm scared. you know how my last relationship ended.
her: ganyan din ako. it took me almost two years to love again.
me: don't get me wrong ha, i still think about him sometimes. and it pisses me that he could move on to another reationship so easily while we are left to be miserable for months. i'm wondering why it's so hard for us to move on... bakit kaya?
her: eh ganun talaga pag sila pa ang may kasalanan pansin mo?
me: onga. three year relationship din yun tapos nakamove on na after a month. and he has had three or four boyfriends already after me. and it's only been like ten months since we split.
her: (laughs)
me: masyado kasi tayo nagiisip. sometimes i wish i was dumb. if that was the case, moving on would be so easy.
her: ay. may ibig sabihin ba yun?
me: wala. siguro he fell out of love for me months pa before we split up. kaya siguro ganun.
her: you know that it took me almost two years to love again. you know what i found out? sana dati pa ako nakipagrelasyon ulit. kasi when you decide to take the plunge again, you will immediately wonder why you didn't do it long ago pa. it feels good to love someone and have that someone love you back. and i assure you, sai, the next time you go into a relationship, you will be wiser. i'm in a relationshop now, but i know that if ever this relationship doesn't work out, i know that i will not be crushed like what i experienced dati. naranasan ko na yun dati eh. i know now that i am my own individual. and he is too. and although i love him and he loves me too, i know that i can live with or without him.
galing, no?
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