Tuesday, April 11, 2006
aylabmayprends
i had a wonderful surprise on the eve of my birthday.
i was grocery shopping with mylene when matt asked if he could borrow the key to my house because he needed to do a #2.. when i got home, the most important people in my life were there to surprise me. and they brought lots of food. i've haven't been really happy for months now and this gesture made me smile.
era--you have no idea how important you are to me. i wouldn't have survived one of the most hellish experiences of my life if you weren't there to hold my hand. i love you so much.
ryan, how could someone so intelligent be able to love so unconditionally? the sms you sent me when you got home was the sweetest i have ever received. thank you.
matt--where's your stepmom? hehehe...i know you love me more. and i love you too -- so much. harry/shugee--harry, you may not know this but you have taught me a lot of things...and the greatest of them is kindness. i sometimes get pissed when you're being too kind to people who don't deserve such treatment. but i realized that i was actually envious of this rare quality of yours. sana ganyan din ako.
ate erlie--you play your role perfectly. i look up to you and your wisdom.
mai--now it's my turn to tell you that i love you mai. labylaby.
conrad--my newest friend. we can't help but love you con. you are such a sweet guy. i'm glad that you've finally spent more time with us. here's to more bonding in bora. hehehe...
i didn't know that i was capable of being cheesy. i've written the L word in this entry so many times. but then it's my birthday so i think i'm allowed. i just can't say it enough.
mahal ko kayo.
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1 comment:
ooohhh....
i remember an entry from my blogs...
DON'T FORGET THE TYLENOL
POSTED AT 11:26 pm in htttp://tabulas.com/~metrosexual
"erwin! how are you?" they said, genuinely excited. "how's the job?"
"oh, it's crap. kind of just what i expected only worse." i felt a yawn rise up deep inside me. i attempted to stifle it by gritting my teeth. "much worse."
"is that possible? i thought your motto was: think of the worst thing possible and multiply it by ten?"
"obviously i didn't think things could be worse than even i could possibly imagine them," i replied, reflecting on how, since G, it had become my personal philosophy to look on the dark, half-empty, who's-nicked-my-silver-lining side of Life. "it's horrible," i said. "a total nightmare. i can't coast or take it easy for a second, otherwise they'll skin me alive. i can't show any weakness. the kids i date, they can smell weakness from a mile off. once they catch a whiff it sends them wild. they're like a pack of hyenas pouncing on a wounded antelope. and having a harsher personality also sends them wild too. experience, for them, seems so sexy and alluring. another friend of mine cried to me the other day because of despair. i'm giving him another week before he's looking baking at going back to heterosexuality."
they laughed. "you're like a bottle of tylenol in the medicine chest. easily available to children who knows how to work a child-proof cap.
"it's not funny, you know."
"no, of course it's not funny. it can be like that," they said adopting a tone of voice reminiscent of a reassuring rub on the small of the back.
i wasn't comforted. i wasn't happy. i was fed up. and they would never understand this.
"how do you guys do it?" i wondered aloud.
"how do we do what?"
"you know," i said, searching for the right word, "that ... stuff ... life and relationships ... how do you cope with it all?"
"experience, erwin, and hard work. we don't want to seem patronizing but come on, erwin, you put a lot of this pressure on yourself by expecting results too fast. we've been working on our own relationships for years now, but we believe this is the first time you've been really out there. G was heaven sent, we know. but now that he's gone, you have to work hard on this kind of shit now."
to be frank, they were being more like cheeky cows, as they are well aware that i'd spent almost three years riding the relationship roller coaster. i knew what hard work was. i reminded them of my past boyfriends.
"it's not three years, erwin, because you've never been out of a relationship really," they said sniggering. "if we remember it correctly, it's you who can't stand your boyfriends. it's you who gave the shelf-life stamp on your men the minute you meet them."
they were right, not just about my relationship history but about my attitude towards it. i wanted everything to be perfect straightaway because the thought of it taking time and the patience to learn how to control these animals made me feel sick.
"erwin, you sound pretty stressed out."
i told them i didn't know the crux of my problem. "am i responsible for the increase of today's commitment phobics?"
"you're overreacting," they said.
before dinner ended, they brought up the subject of birthdays.
"i know you hate birthdays, erwin ...
"and shrimps, and crabs, and anything with shells ...
but we ...
and the Philippine government ...
... really wanted to ...
and women embracing their femininity ...
... do something ...
and Alfred Hitchcock films and Sydney Sheldon novels ... "
... special"
i ran out of things to hate.
"i hope you don't mind, they said."
i tutted softly and told them i didn't. they had planned on going out of town for the whole day saturday before the big day. they planned on going swimming with all their kids. all the barbecued ribs i could eat, lots of Coke, and my favorite vegetables. we talked about the old times, played with the kids, joked about our sex lives, and laughed when we realized that being old means not hitting the water the minute you stepped out of the car. it was really "something special."
on the way home that cloudless saturday, i whispered a small prayer of thanks to whoever was responsible for introducing these angels into my life.
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