everyone has yearender entries

Late 2005, someone i could've spent the rest of my life with cheated on me. after that incident, that someone dumped me. back then i felt ugly. i was very fat. and i looked old. i could've wallowed in self pity and ate an entire gonuts donuts store. i chose to go to the gym.

Around the same time last year, i weighed 210 pounds. now i'm down to 160 give and take a few pounds. i can say that i haven't reached my ideal weight. but losing 50 pounds is an achievement. and i am extremely happy with the results. i still look older than my age, though. it's in the eyes, i think.

i made a few close friends last year. and i am determined to keep them for good. they know who they are.

dated a few people too. dumped some. got dumped by some. the dating scene now is different than it was four years ago. i never realized that romantic possibilities are now easily disposed off. now, relationships, on the average last for a couple of months. people have become really shortsighted. hay.

got a job writing press releases for a PR firm. i'm enjoying my new-found career so far.

i dated four people this year. i am still single. i must admit that up to now, i am terrified at the idea of taking the plunge again.

so far, i got 2 out of five things in my Christmas wish list. they gave me the more expensive ones. but i'm still hoping someone would give me a 'gangland' dvd.

i'm now officially 'friends' with my ex. so that means i am totally over the twat! yahoo!




and most importantly, this year i finally get to have myself back.

...

1. it's 12 noon. the 24th of December. just woke up. alone in my pad.
2. for breakfast - dark chocolate and a glass of water.
3. need to buy gifts for - Mamang and Shobe.
4. will be at the family reunion later - i hate family reunions. they ask irritating questions like, ' why don't you have a girlfriend?' or ' why don't you pursue your nursing career?'
5. i'll be seeing my 95 year-old grandfather later. i love my lolo.
6. last night at krispy kreme - someone was giving away free glazed donuts to customers. i jumped and grabbed one from her. delicious. she was looking at me like i was some kind of weirdo. "so what if i am a weirdo, you normal person you."
7. of all the entries in the filmfest beginning tomorrow, i'm most bent on seeing 'ligalig'
8. last film i saw - shortbus on dvd. totally interesting. i loved the characters. so intelligent yet so stupid. flawed. very human.
9. amos lee's cd is amazing.
10. i'm craving for fresh lumpia right now.

gotta go. i need to replace my toilet seat cover.

Interview me!!! Please!!!

al asks:

1. What will you do if we're both stuck in an island with no means of escape and our only means of survival is to resort to cannibalism. Will you kill me or you let me kill you?

I'm fat. and you're malnourished. so alright. kill me.

2. You die and at the heavenly gates you need to convince St. Peter that you deserve to enter heaven. What will you say?

"Daddy Pete, I've been a good, good boy. I fed al my body so he could go on living. Now lemme in."

3. Will you go for that someone who loves you or that someone you love?

Seriously, for a change, i'd go for someone who loves me.

4. Imagine yourself in my shoes. What would you do this Christmas?

Give cy the grandest gift!

5. If there would be only one shop in the world what shop should that be?

Definitely a media store. Like the one in megamall (powerbooks and music one).


======
SINO magpa-pa-interview?

The Rules:

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."

2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.

3. You will update your journal with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

kreesmas weeesh leeest

1. a dvd of peque gallaga and lore reyes' youth flick 'gangland.'
2. new gloves for working out.
3. clicker.
4. john legend's new cd.
5. mp3 player(yung cheap lang).

Pahabol: i just had to say -- last night's opening of Friday's in galeria was really fun. food and booze overflowed. the staff was genuinely gracious and friendly. we all had a great time.

so far...

after a couple of motnhs(?), i'm back.

work gets in the way, you know. malaking hadlang ang trabaho sa pag eeljay.

here's what happened (and has been happening) lately:
1. i am now a permanent employee. i got a raise. yipee.
2. i'm back in the dating scene.
3. a friend(who used to see me only on webcam and have met me in the flesh just once) told another friend that i'm butt ugly in person. i'm inclined to believe him. but then, i didn't say that i'm goodlooking anyway.
4. saw two of my closest buds (al and z). nagpafootspa at sm mall of asia.
5. was rejected by someone. oh well. there's always a first time.

next: my Christmas wish list.

So after three gruelling weeks of working in a PR firm, i'm finally starting to get the hang of things. My work day starts with me reading more than 8 newspapers a day looking for news about the industry that i'm supposed to write press releases for. By the time that i've gone through every page and have gotten the summary of each news item, the clock should've hit 12 noon. afternoons are spent writing and going on press rounds and attending meetings and doing interviews and being nice and peachy to everyone.

totally stressful and tiring.

and i have to go to the gym four times a week to lose weight.

i miss having eight hours of sleep.

and my friends.

i am anxious. after an imposed sabbatical, i am now rejoining the tax paying workforce starting monday. i am anxious, but i am also excited.

going...

going...gone?

jagged little pills

i'm a supplement freak. it started when i almost fainted two years ago and the doctor's couldn't find anything wrong with me. i did my own research and found these supplements very helpful.

everyday i take:
1. a B complex caplet
2. folic acid
3. selenium
4. vitamin e
5. vitamin c
6. vitamin a&d
7. co-enzyme Q10
8. omega 3
9. dietary fiber supplement
10. a tablespoon of extra virgin coconut oil

when i feel tired and weak i take:
1. vitamin B-12 sublingually or
2. korean ginseng capsules

sometimes, though, it gets really tiring to get one pill from each and every bottle. so i just pop a multivatamin and go.

ill pare

it's hard when you are sick and you live alone.

trust me. i know how it feels.

i've been living independently since college. my mom went to the states and for the first time in our lives, we got separated. i remember crying in my room at the dorm (where i used to live) everytime i experienced a severe asthma attack. my solo flights to the hospital were the dumps for me. i pitied myslef big time during those times.

fast forward to present day.

i've been nursing a slight fever since sunday evening. and although the fever has subsided a couple of days ago, my body pain decided to stick with me up until now. i suspect the pain must come from working out five times a week for the past three months or so. i heard you should only work out three to four times in a week. so the physical abuse must've brought about the body discomfort.

the fever i think should come from my piercing. my brother coerced me to have my ears pierced last saturday. i don't know what possessed me back then but i said yes right away. he was wrong when he thought he'd see me scream in pain when the gun drills a hole in my ear. but now my lobes are swollen red and as big as squid balls.

so here i am, stuck inside my 34 square meter appartment, and bored out of my wits. i've been craving for pad thai and miso soup but i don't have the strength to get dressed and run to the nearest oody's express or teriyaki boy.

i miss having someone to take care of me. i really do.


***

ang salaming tridi

even brandon routh will not look good in these glasses.

song lyrics that move

it's only you that makes me free
i'm not used to being loved,
not me.

- free, Simon Webbe


goodbye my lover
goodbye, my friend
you have been the one
you have been the one for me
i'm so hollw, baby, i'm so hollow
i'm so, i'm so, i'm so hollow

- goodbye my lover, James Blunt


i have seen
i have been to places far and deep in my mind
only to find comfort in your strangeness

- comfort in your strangeness, Cynthia Alexander


go
don't worry i'll stay sane
'cause i'm a friend as much as a lover
this patient waiting is good
for the heart and soul

- go, Barbie's Cradle


pause in your busy day
look extra long my way
wink at me across the room
kiss me longer
touch my arm when i am by your side
so i can fly

- fly, Sarah Groves


beyond the things i'm not, there's love inside of me
just love me for all the things i am
love me

- for everything i am, Christian Bautista


when you say you love me
the world goes still, so still inside
when you say you love me
for a moment
there's no one else alive

- when you say you love me, Josh Groban


do you really love me,
or are you just
lonely?
...you're just lonely.

- you love me, Cacai Velasquez


more next time.